thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
