i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
