It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
