There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Randomize
