She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
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