I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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