I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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