I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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