I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
