it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
