I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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