O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
