there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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