i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Randomize
