3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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