ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
