I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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