if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
