So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
this just has baby written all over it
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Randomize
