I skipped work to stalk him.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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