Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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