soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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