Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
