And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
