I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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