I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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