Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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