i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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