I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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