i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Randomize