What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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