Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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