Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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