you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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