Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
