he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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