sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Randomize
