I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
