On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
