ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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