What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I am spending my child support on dildos
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
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