Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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