would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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