I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
