he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
The convent might be a nice break from real life
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
