Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
