I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
