After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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