Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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