Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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