tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
