saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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