This dress was meant to end up on your floor
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
