I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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