The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
