my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Randomize
