I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I think your dad took our porno
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
