Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
