At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
