rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Randomize