im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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