Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
