a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I wear drunk well.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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