so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
