she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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