Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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