NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
