they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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