Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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