The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
