God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
You are a genius and a whore.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
