people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
